Alana went out last night. I wasn’t informed of her plans. Wasn’t told where she’d be. And I have no idea who she went with. I mean, she rattled off names as she pulled out of the driveway…..but I don’t have a clue who those people are. And that’s adulthood. No more asking permission before going somewhere.
No more calling mom every hour or you’re grounded.
No more tiptoeing into Mom’s bedroom by eleven to let her know you’ve made it home safely.
No more “Sorry, I can’t go because my mom said it’s family movie night.”
When you’re grown, you’re grown.
And this is normal. This is okay. This is actually a good thing…..This is normal. This is okay. This is actually a good thing…..(repeat until you have completely convinced yourself these things are true)…..
You see, this is fun for a kid. Stepping into the world of adulting, freedom to make your own choices, being handed some concrete and a shovel to pave your very own path. But where does that leave Mom?
Out. That’s where. It leaves her out. In the cold. Like a stray cat that no one wants because he smells funny and has a crooked tail.
And that’s the way it is supposed to be. I don’t get to know every move she makes anymore. I don’t get to dictate how she will spend her weekend. I don’t get to keep her home because I disapprove of her choices. And that feels bad.
But, this morning, I have found peace in it all. I would love to tell you that it was a spiritual process. That I prayed for contentment in the situation and God blessed me with a calm spirit. That I decided to “let go and let God.” That I have come to accept life as it is and be happy in all things.
Nope- I stalked her on Instagram, found leftovers from a restaurant in my fridge, and asked her 200 questions. Was it the right thing to do?
Don’t care- I feel better.