Today….I struggle.

Vacancy (1)

Today my household shrinks by two as Alana and Charli are moving out. I’ve known it was coming since she paid an apartment deposit almost two weeks ago but time certainly hasn’t made this day any easier. I keep trying to remind myself that this is normal- this is how it is supposed to be.

Life changes. Things are different. Children move out. I can find positive in this somewhere….

We now have an extra bedroom. I can buy a smaller car. On family movie nights, we can all fit on the couches. Good things, right? No, because when I became a mom, four times, I did so knowing that I wanted my life full, my cup running over, absolute and total chaotic goodness. There will be a void there, no matter how positively I look at it.

My family is my life. And until lately, I have been in total control of that sweet, little family. Everytime I call for a family trip- they are all there. When I want to spend the evening playing boardgames- we are all in. Holidays are done my way and all of my traditions revolve around the participation of a mommy, daddy, and all four children. Now my firstborn will have her own family, her own trips, her own traditions. I will be left with a hard life lesson about not being in control.

So would I change it if I could? No. Because she is happy.

I will sit back and admire her as she charges into life at full speed. I will support her as she makes a household of her own. I will spend my days loving on my other babies while they are still at home. I will learn to live content with where God has me for this season.

And…..I will stop by for surprise visits with my baby and grandbaby all-too-often until I have worn out my welcome.

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Love God, love my family, love writing, love public speaking, love Calhoun Ga, love Florida State Seminoles!

2 thoughts on “Today….I struggle.

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