I’m still alive! I appreciate all of the emails and messages of concern from those of you missing my posts. I am definitely slacking lately. This isn’t because I have lost interest or have become too busy, this is simply because I am stuck in a state somewhere between numb and anesthetized. My blog page says we have 66 days to go but my heart hasn’t realized what’s coming yet. I’m still trying to figure out how to raise a pregnant child, I am certainly not ready to raise a mommy. The dynamics in our home is not just a little off, there has been a total train-wreck and I feel as though I have been left to pick up the pieces and try to hot-glue said train back together.
(If any of you happen to know of any books on the subject or maybe even the name of a good therapist, I could greatly benefit from either.)
So, what’s been going on in our world? Well, not much. We have a much bigger belly now. We have felt kicks and jabs and the push of a toe or two up under the ribs. Charli had her first case of the hiccups the other night. Alana is still working hard, overtime most weeks, in hopes of saving up enough to take 6 weeks off after the birth. I still spend time in my pity pit. I still worry about the future. I still spend time thinking of what might have been. But, most of all……I’m still a proud momma.