1:28pm….that’s when the mail runs at my house. I love mail time. I will oftentimes hang out at home, even though I have errands to run or kids to pick up, just so I can grab the mail before I go. There are many different surprises that come from that box. I do a good bit of freelance work so on a few different days of the month, a check comes out of that box. I am also an avid reader…and I buy more books than I actually read so several days a month, a new book comes out of that box. AND, have you heard of WISH? Lots of fun little surprises all the way from China coming out of that box too.
So, you can imagine my delight when a fluffy envelope appears on the counter after someone grabbed the mail for me. If you’re like me, opening a package is a 10 minute deal. First, you feel around- smooshing all of its contents in an attempt to guess what might be inside. Then, you check the sender info. You take a moment to think back of things you might have purchased, using the business name as a hint to your new goodies. Then finally, you can’t wait any longer so you carefully flatten out your package to determine the right point of entry before tearing right through the front, usually spilling the contents out onto the floor.
So, here I am. I have worked through the process and I am thinking that since it is such a smooshy package, we might be talking clothing of some sort. This means I will have to open the package with careful consideration to keep from cutting through the cloth. I get my package open to discover….
-not a fun t-shirt with a great catch-phrase or a picture of Daryl Dixon.
-not a new pair of neatly pressed BoHo pants to match some of the Piko shirts I bought in weird colors.
-not a cute newborn sleeper or a pack of ‘I love my MiMi’ onsies.
Nope, this package contained my very own sample, with a great savings coupon included, of TENA Overnight Protection Panties.
Let me first say, that I am not beyond wearing said protection panties, but who- JUST WHO- decided I needed them? Is there a universal “I’m a grandma now” sign on my forehead? And that’s not all. AARP has been showing up in my mailbox a lot lately too. And, when I ordered at McDonald’s the other day, I swear that the cashier almost offered me a senior discount! I narrowed my eyes just in time for her to realize her mistake.
So, all of that to say….I can pay full price for the Big Mac meal that I won’t be able to finish so I will ask for a piece of foil to take it home in…And, I am just fine with carrying around an extra pair of my own panties (just in case)…And, I don’t know what AARP is but I’m not interested in saving money on travel arrangements since you can’t go anywhere without young people being too loud and ruining your vacation anyway…..wait….AARP offers discounts on books through Amazon? Maybe I’ll hold onto that piece of mail.